


ronan and adam: the early years

by adamganseys



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, anyways imagine pynch as literati and Suffer, it's just more fun if u do, talking about sex, u don't have to know anything abt gilmore girls to read this btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 22:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6584671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamganseys/pseuds/adamganseys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwenllian's smile became even more sharp. "Oh, little dreamer, have you told your magician what you dream of? Have you told your magician your biggest secret? Have you told your magician that you dream of him? Of his body and his mind and his heart being yours?" Ronan froze, his entire body going completely still, his face first turning pale, then bright red. Adam's face was doing similar things.</p><p>(Or, the one where Gwenllian puts Ronan's second secret out in the open. Loosely based off of Rory and Jess in 3x08 of Gilmore Girls, because I love to torture myself and imagine Pynch in Literati scenarios. With special appearances by Embarrassing Uncle Luke Gansey and Cool Mom Lorelai Blue.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	ronan and adam: the early years

**Author's Note:**

> So, for some reason, I started to imagine Pynch as Literati (with Adam as Rory and Ronan as Jess, obviously) and then this fic happened? It started out as a crack fic and then turned into this, somehow. There is some direct Gilmore Girls dialogue in here, so I take no credit for that. Gansey's characterization is pretty OOC (I know he's not that oblivious and embarrassing) but it was too much fun to imagine him as Luke, so I went with it. Really this is kind of a mess and ended up being like, three different fic ideas merged into one. The last scene especially got away from me, but, enjoy nonetheless? It's also the first time I've tried writing Ronan's POV, so I hope I didn't fuck that up too badly. It's my last fic before TRK, so I figured I'd go all out. 
> 
> You absolutely don't have to watch Gilmore Girls to read this, but it's funnier if you do, so if you've never seen it, you should watch these few scenes that I based the fic off of (in order as they appear): [scene 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCMQ2Ei3Uj4) / [scene 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgpjtzqDARg) / [scene 3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0Uf2PH-W0A&list=PLA75BC63136776735) / [scene 4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc94_6sQORs&list=PLA75BC63136776735&index=3)

Ronan Lynch and Adam Parrish were both still breathing, at least for now, so of course, they were in a fight.

Adam couldn't remember how it started. He couldn't remember how most of their fights started, honestly. Ronan probably made some cruel comment that he thought was funny and Adam, bristled and angry, retorted with equal cruelty and then they were screaming at each other in the BMW.

The fight hadn't started as being about Adam's ambition and Ronan's lack thereof, but somehow it had ended up that way.

Adam usually let Ronan’s comments slide off of him, but one particularly cruel one sliced through him, and Adam froze.

He tried to school his expression into something neutral, but his insecurity must have shown, because Ronan’s face softened and he no longer looked angry. He just cleared his throat and said, "Come on. Let's just go inside."

Adam realized they had already reached their destination while he was lost inside his own head. They were at 300 Fox Way.

He sighed and got out of the car without a word. The door to the house was unlocked, as usual, and they entered after a knock. They walked into the kitchen, but the only person there was Orla, who was paining her nails.

"Orla. Where are Maura and Calla?" Adam asked.

Orla shrugged in an unhelpful way. When she realized Ronan was there, though, she looked at him and gave him what Adam thought was supposed to be a seductive smile. Ronan just glared at her.

Adam hoped the two psychics were at least home. The two boys had come to Fox Way to ask them for advice on waking the sleeping cows when their recent attempts had been more fruitless than usual. Adam didn't really think Maura or Calla could help much with this, but they were out of options.

Neither Maura nor Calla appeared; what did appear, however, was a massive mop off black hair. On further inspection, Adam realized it was Gwenllian.

She walked up to Ronan and Adam and said in a sing-song voice, "Ah! It is the hands and the heart! It is the two I despise most!"

"The feeling is mutual," Ronan said with a sneer.

Gwenllian gave him a knowing smile, her face suddenly seeming dangerous. "You are quite a secretive creature, little dreamer, oh, little dreamer who dreams his little dreams, his little dreams of blood and love, of war and strife, oh, little dreamer!" The words started as a whisper and turned into a song, predictably.

Ronan rolled his eyes. "Is she being committed any time soon?"

Gwenllian's smile became even more sharp. "Oh, little dreamer, have you told your magician what you dream of? Have you told your magician your biggest secret? Have you told your magician that you dream of him? Of his body and his mind and his heart being yours?"

Ronan froze, his entire body going completely still, his face first turning pale, then bright red.

Adam's face was doing similar things.

Gwenllian continued on. "Oh, little dreamer, in love with the magician, little dreamer, afraid the magician will never want him back. Tell me, magician, are his fears true?"

For that last part she turned her knowing gaze on Adam, who was still too shocked to say anything. Both boys couldn't move, their muscles turning into lead. Adam opened his mouth and closed it again. He didn't dare look at Ronan.  
  
After a moment, Ronan turned on his heels and stormed out of Fox Way. Adam heard the sound of the BMW's speeding away.  
  
Gwenllian let out a cackle and slipped away into some other part of the house.  
  
Adam was still frozen in place.  
  
"Oh," Orla said softly. " _Oh._ I get it now." A pause. "Good luck, magician. You'll need it." Then she went back to painting her nails.  
  
After a few seconds, Blue waltzed into the kitchen. "Orla, do you know where- Oh. Adam. I thought I heard something. What are you doing here?"  
  
Adam finally found his voice. "We were looking for Maura and Calla." He cleared his throat. "Me and Ronan. Ronan left, though."  
  
Blue frowned at him, clearly sensing something was wrong from the look on his face. "Mom and Calla aren't home.”  
  
Adam sighed. "Okay. I'll come back another time to see Maura and Calla. Right now I need to go find Ronan. "  
  
“Did something happen?” 

Adam winced. “You could say that.”

Blue nodded. “Well. You can talk to me about it if you want. But go find the asshole first.”  
  
*  
  
Ronan was nowhere to be found. Adam checked Monmouth, and St. Agnes, and even drive out to the Barns, but he was nowhere.

Adam kept replaying Gwenllian's words over and over in his head. _Little dreamer, in love with the magician._

It wasn't that Ronan's feelings were a shock to Adam; he had known about his crush for a while now, but the thing is, that's all he thought it was. A crush. Just a fleeting thing that Ronan would eventually get over.

Adam had never once considered that Ronan was _in love_ with him. That he dreamed about him. That he was so afraid that Adam wouldn't want him back.

Adam's heart did a strange thing in his chest.

It was possible Gwenllian was exaggerating. That she didn't truly know. That she was guessing.

But then Adam remembered Persephone's words. _Gwenllian is a very gifted psychic._ It was true that most of what Gwenllian said never made sense to any of them, but deep down, Adam knew she was always speaking the truth. Always leaving hints that were possibly important for them all but that none of them could decipher.

This was easily decipherable, though.

Adam sighed. He knew of Ronan's feelings. He also knew that his feelings for Ronan had been growing for a while now, slowly but surely. Adam had tried to ignore them. Tried to pretend they didn't exist. Pushed them aside to deal with at a later time. Because he was so, so afraid of this thing between them.

It was later, now, and Adam had to confront this thing that he wanted and feared so much. He wasn't ready, but he had to be. Or he might lose even Ronan's friendship, and that loss was too great to even contemplate.

Adam realized he was driving to Cabeswater without consciously making the decision to. Cabeswater was reaching out to him, hanging vines and tangled branches and damp moss filling his mind and senses, trying to tell him something.

 _Greywaren_ , the trees whispered in his ear.

Adam knew, then, where to look for Ronan. He was in Cabeswater.  
  
*  
  
After ten minutes of searching, Adam found Ronan sitting on a small wooden bridge over a narrow river. The manmade bridge was a quaint little thing, pretty but out of place, like the manmade lake had been. Adam had passed by the structure a few times but never really spent any time on it.

It was 9 pm in the real world, a Friday at the beginning of November, but in Cabeswater, the trees were bright and the sky the color of a summer sunset.

Adam sat down next to Ronan, his legs hanging over the quietly rushing water beneath him, almost close enough to touch it but not quite. His shoulders were close enough to Ronan for them to touch, too, but he didn't. Ronan was staring at the water below, not acknowledging that Adam was there except for the slightest tightening of his jaw.

Adam cleared his throat, which suddenly felt dry and raw. "So. It's a good thing the women of Fox Way didn't take Gansey up on his offer of having Gwenllian move into Monmouth, huh. Imagine having to deal with that nightmare all the time."

Ronan was silent. Adam kept waiting for him to say something, anything, but in vain. Adam sighed. "I... listen, Lynch, I..." But he didn't know what to say.

"The fuck are you doing here, Parrish?" Ronan's tone was angry, but Adam knew better.

"What do you think I'm doing," Adam snapped. "I've been looking for you all day."

"Well, you found me. Now what the fuck do you want?"

Adam sighed again, his annoyance dissipating. He was looking down at his hands, but he could see Ronan glancing at him and then away from his peripheral vision. "Look, I just... I just wanted to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

Adam considered just ripping off the bandaid and going straight to it, but instead, he said, "We all know Gwenllian's... you know. Most of what she says makes no sense and is bullshit. It's... it's whatever." Adam knew that it wasn't, in fact, whatever, that everything the woman had said was true, but he still wanted to give Ronan an out if he wanted it. He should've known Ronan wouldn't lie.

Ronan's voice was quiet when he said, "She was right."

"I-- What?" Adam had not expected Ronan to admit it so bluntly.

"Everything she said about me... about how I... with you... she was right." He let out a small humorless laugh. "It's just as well, I guess. I'm fucking tired of trying to pretend otherwise."

Adam finally, finally, looked at Ronan. The other boy wasn't looking at him, his face staring straight ahead at some far point in the distance. Adam said softly, "Ronan-"

Ronan interrupted him. "If you don’t want – we can forget about it. I can try to –“

That was the opposite of what Adam wanted. "I don't want to forget about it, Lynch. I can't."

Ronan looked at him. “Then what do you want?” His voice was a whisper.

Adam swallowed, and saw Ronan track the movement. He forced himself to look Ronan in the eyes. "I want... this. You."

Ronan sucked in a breath. "What?" His voice was hoarse and disbelieving.

Adam rolled his eyes, sounding more confident than he felt. "I like you too, asshole."  
  
“I – you do?” 

“That’s what I just said.” 

“You can’t just – I need you to be sure about this.”

"I _am_ sure, Lynch. I’m all in, if you are."

Ronan searched Adam’s eyes, his face, the furrow of his eyebrows, looking for something, maybe a lie, maybe the truth. He seemed to find whatever it was he needed. Ronan's face and neck were flushed and he stammered out nervously, "I-- Okay. Good. Cool. Yeah."

Adam grinned. "Yeah." He looked at his battered watch that had stopped working and frowned. "Shit. I have a night shift at the factory soon. I should go."

Ronan's face fell before he schooled it into a neutral expression and nodded.

"But maybe... I can come over to Monmouth after work tomorrow, if you want? And we can... talk?" Adam was blushing now, too. He had no idea what to do or where they went from here.

Ronan nodded again. "Y-Yeah. Yeah. Cool."

"Great." He got up. "See you tomorrow." Then, on impulse, he leaned down and kissed Ronan quickly on his cheek. Ronan startled and turned an even brighter red, if that was even possible. Adam walked away before Ronan could say anything, embarrassed at his reckless action.

_Did I really just do that?_

His stomach churned pleasantly and fearfully as he thought of seeing Ronan tomorrow.  
  
*

  
The next morning, Adam went to Fox Way again. He was greeted by a very curious Orla who asked if he had made out with Ronan yet, to which he stammered something unintelligible and turned red to the tips of his ears.

He found Blue sitting under the beech tree in her backyard, reading a book. She didn't notice him until he was in front of her. "What are you reading?"

She held the book up a little higher to show him the title. _The Most Complete Guide to the Stars, Planets, Galaxies, and the Solar System._

"Good book?"

"Very. Did you know that stars form in pairs?"

"No I did not, Dick Gansey," Adam grinned.

Blue scowled, but playfully. "You looking for Mom and Calla?"

"No, you, actually." Adam hesitated. "The offer to talk still good?"

"Of course. Sit." Blue patted the spot on the grass next to her. Adam sat. "So. What's up?"

Adam fidgeted with his hands, suddenly nervous and unsure about what he was about to do. "Um... Well, I..."

Blue waited.

Adam took a deep breath. "It's. Me and Ronan. We're... I think. I think we're... dating." He turned to look at Blue.

Her expression was shocked at first, but she quickly got ahold of herself. "You're dating. Okay."

Adam couldn't tell what she was thinking. "Are you... What do you... I mean, are you surprised?"

Blue's expression was thoughtful. "Yes, but no?"

Adam raised his eyebrows. "It's moments like these when I can't believe you're not actually psychic."

"Oh, shut up. I just mean. I knew you two were getting closer. Anyone could see that. But I didn't think it was, you know. Romantic. But now that I know, I don't know. It makes sense, you two."

Adam said, carefully, "Thanks. You and Gansey make sense, too."

Blue turned pink at that. "I -- that's not -- we're --"

"Blue. It's okay. Really. I’m fine with it."

Blue huffed indignantly. “I don’t need your _permission_ , Adam Parrish.” Then she sighed and leaned back on the cool bark of the tree. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you. We just... We didn't want to hurt you."

Adam shrugged. "It stung, at first. But it's okay now. I'm happy for you two. Really." He smiled at her.

She smiled back. "Thanks. I'm happy for you and Ronan too. Though, I'm really questioning your taste right now."

Adam laughed. "Well, it's not going to be easy, for sure."

Blue hummed in agreement. "So. What exactly happened yesterday?"

"Well. Basically. Gwenllian came into the kitchen and sang a song about how Ronan was in love me. And then Ronan stormed out."

"She _what_?"

"Well, she used the words 'dreamer' and 'magician' but it was obvious what she meant."

"Huh. Wow. Ronan must've been..." Mortified. Terrified. Homicidal.

"Yeah, he was. I talked to him afterwards, though, and we're going to talk more after I come back from work today."

Blue raised her eyebrows. "You're going to _talk_ , huh? Use air quotes."

Adam's face felt hot. "I -- well -- I mean..." He couldn't really deny it. If everything went according to plan, it would end with them kissing. A lot.

Blue grinned. "I thought so."

"You're the worst."

“Hey, you should feel lucky. All me and Gansey do is talk, _without_ air quotes.” Then Blue flushed. “Forget I said that. You don’t need to hear about that.” Adam was very happy to forget about it. Even though he had no problem with Gansey and Blue anymore, he really didn’t want to know the details. It was too weird. “Anyways, I hope you have fun making out with Ronan. Even though that sounds like the least fun thing in the world.”

“And I repeat, you’re the _worst_.”

Blue just kept grinning. "Yeah, yeah, you love me though."

Adam shrugged. "Can't argue with that."

Blue's face lit up at the words, and then she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. He was startled at first, but then relaxed into the touch and wrapped his arms around her waist. Suddenly, Adam was overcome with emotion. He couldn't remember the last time someone had hugged him. If someone had ever hugged him.

When they pulled back, Blue must've seen something in his face, because she asked, looking concerned, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Adam realized his eyes were watering. He quickly rubbed them and looked away. "Nothing. It's just... I don't think anyone's ever hugged me before," he admitted, feeling embarrassed and pathetic.

Blue's face softened, but her voice was fierce. "Well, you better get used to it. I'm going to hug you at least once a day from now on. Twice, if I'm feeling especially generous."

Adam smiled at her fondly. In that moment, he was so immensely grateful to have Blue Sargent as his friend. "Twice in one day, huh? Come on, don't get clingy."

"Watch yourself, or I'll tell Gansey, and he'll make us all do routine group hugs every day."

"Oh, God." Adam twisted his face in not-so-exaggerated horror and Blue laughed.

As if on cue, Calla stuck her head out the door and yelled. "BLUE. RICHIE RICH SAYS YOU AND COCA COLA NEED TO GET OVER TO MONMOUTH RIGHT NOW. IT'S IMPORTANT."

"OKAY, WE'RE GOING!" To Adam, she said, "Speak of the Devil. Wonder what's so important."

But Adam wasn't thinking about whatever Gansey wanted to talk to them about. He was thinking about how he was going to see Ronan Lynch hours before he thought he would. He had counted on those hours in between to prepare himself and calm the mosh pit inside of his stomach. _It's just Ronan_ , he told himself. But then he thought about how he had kissed Ronan's cheek last night, and the mosh pit got even worse.

Blue could apparently tell exactly what was going through his mind, and she smiled delightedly. "Oh my god," she cooed, "That's just adorable, you're so nervous!"

Adam flushed and glared at her. "Shut up, I am not."

"You totally are. You're blushing, too."

At that, Adam blushed even deeper. "I hate you."

“You just admitted that you loved me.”

“That was a minute ago. A lot can change in a minute. And right now, I hate you.”

Blue gave him an unimpressed raised of her eyebrow – a gesture Adam thought she had definitely learned from Calla. 

He sighed. “I have to go to work soon anyways, so I’ll just be stopping by for a bit, see what Gansey wants.” 

“Hmm. Your boyfriend will be disappointed.”

Adam’s blush had just started to fade, but it came back again in full force. “Don’t call him that!” 

Blue just rolled her eyes. "Come on, Lover Boy. Let's go."  
  
*  
  
When Ronan woke up that morning, his eyes flying open at 8 am after just a few measly hours of restless sleep, he questioned everything he thought he knew about himself. For example, he thought he knew when he was awake and when he was dreaming.

After last night, though, he wasn't so sure.

He thought about fucking Gwenllian exposing all his embarrassing secrets. He thought about Adam saying that he liked him back. He thought about Adam kissing his cheek, his lips chapped and brief on Ronan's skin. Ronan couldn't stop thinking about how they felt. How those lips would feel on his own.

He groaned and tossed and turned in his bed, his nerves and doubt about the situation overwhelming most of the happiness he had felt initially.

Adam said he was coming over in the evening to talk some more. What did that mean? What were they going to do? Was he supposed to ask Adam on a date now or something?

All they had really established was that Adam liked him back. But Ronan didn't know what they did from here. It's not like he had much experience in the dating area. Or any experience, really. Adam probably had plenty of experience. He imagined a lot of people wanted Adam Parrish, and if they didn’t, they were stupid as fuck and had terrible taste. Adam had dated Blue, at least, even if that didn’t last too long.

Ronan sighed and stayed in bed for two more hours, contemplating his miserable existence, until finally, he went out into the main room. He found Gansey sitting by his model of Henrietta, staring at a cardboard building intently. Ronan walked over to him. "Morning, Dick."

Gansey looked up, his wireframes low on his nose. "Ronan. You look tired. Did you sleep?”

Ronan shrugged. "I slept. A little."

Gansey frowned. "What's wrong, Lynch? You seem worried about something."

Ronan gritted his teeth. "I'm fine."

Gansey just raised his eyebrows. Ronan sat down across from him. "Well," Ronan started. "Something happened yesterday."

When it was clear Ronan wasn't going to elaborate, Gansey prompted, "Yes, things happen every day. Would you like to be more specific? What sort of something?"

Ronan’s nerves were a hurricane inside his chest. He had never talked to Gansey about any of this. He had never told him he was gay. The secret had felt like a boulder weighing on his shoulders, at times. “I—“ Ronan stopped. Gritted his teeth again.

Gansey’s voice was gentle, soothing. He could see the frustration and fear all over Ronan’s voice. “Ronan. Talk to me.” 

“I--,” Ronan started again. A deep breath. “Adam.” 

“What about Adam?”

“I—We – I think. We’re. Together. Maybe. Possibly. I don’t know.” 

“Together,” Gansey repeated.

“Yes, together, asshole, the way you and the Maggot are _together_.”

Gansey’s eyes cleared. “Oh. _Oh_. Okay.”

“ _Okay?_ ”

“Well. What do you want me to say?”

“How about what you’re actually thinking?” 

Gansey sighed. “Well, Lynch, I knew about you—don’t give me that surprised look, I’m your best friend and I know you, of course I knew—and I had suspected… well, I don’t know what I’d suspected. I knew you two were getting closer, for sure, but… What did Adam say, exactly?” 

“We haven’t really talked about it in depth. But he told me – last night, he told me that he liked me, and he’s coming over tonight and… Shit. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Gansey smiled. “Do you ever? You’ll figure it out. I mean, it’s just Adam.”

Ronan snorted. _Just Adam._ Yeah, just Adam, the boy he’d dreamed about constantly, the boy he stared at when the other wasn’t looking, the boy he had been stupidly fucking in love with for over a year now. The boy who, apparently, liked him back. Maybe. Possibly. Ronan still had a difficult time believing that part.

He had allowed himself to hope, sometimes. Sometimes, when he felt Adam’s eyes on him, when Adam smiled at something he said, when he managed to talk Adam into doing something stupid that he wouldn’t have done with anyone else. But it had been a pipe dream, a thought to consider, not a real, true _possibility_. And now it was real. And it was happening. And Ronan was a fucking mess.

“You’re really nervous.”

Ronan flushed, but he couldn’t deny it. “No shit, I’m fucking nervous. It’s not like I’ve ever—I mean— Fuck.”

Gansey cleared his throat. “Now would probably a good time to let you know that Jane and Adam are both coming over in about twenty minutes.”

“ _What_?”

“I – well, I thought we could do some exploring in Cabeswater today. I talked to Malory on the phone and he had a new theory –“ 

“But Adam has work soon.” 

Gansey frowned. “He usually doesn’t around this time, does he?”

Ronan shrugged. “Think he took an extra shift.”

“Ah. Well. They’re already on their way. I suppose I’ll just consult with him quickly and we’ll have to go on without him. But, I figured I’d give you a fair warning.”

“Thanks, Dick,” Ronan said through gritted teeth. “Thanks for being a huge fucking help.”

“Oh come on. You don’t _want_ to see him?”

“Not before tonight! I needed time to – to –“

“You’ll be fine. Now go take a shower. You don’t want to meet Adam smelling like that, do you?”

Ronan glared at Gansey with as much venom as he could possibly muster, and was about to spit out a biting remark, but Gansey just rolled his eyes and said, “Go on, Lynch.”

Ronan opened his mouth and closed it. Then he stormed into the Bathroom-Kitchen-Laundry. He took a minute to calm himself. He hadn’t woken up prepared to see Adam Parrish first thing in the morning. He knew it would be brief, but his heart was still a wild thing inside him, his pulse and breath quickening the longer he thought about it. 

He took a quick shower, got dressed, and braced himself.

 

*

 

“It’ll be fine.” 

“I know that.” 

“Do you? Because you look like you want to crawl out of your skin.”

“I’m _fine._ ”

The door to Monmouth Manufacturing was unlocked, so Adam and Blue entered. No one was in the main room, but as they walked in, Adam could hear hushed voices arguing in Ronan’s room.

Adam and Blue stopped outside of Ronan’s room. “Gansey?” Adam’s voice was tentative. The voices stopped.

After a moment, the door opened, and Adam’s heart stopped.

Gansey and Ronan came out of the room, and though Adam vaguely registered Gansey, all he could focus on was Ronan. His jeans slung low on his hips, his hands in his pockets, his black tank top that hugged his torso in a way that made Adam dizzy, the bits of his tattoo peaking out from underneath, the sharp lines of his face, his mouth…

Blue coughed, and Adam realized, that while he’d been looking at Ronan, Ronan had been looking at him. He felt his face heat up, and to clear the awkward silence, Adam finally spoke, his voice scratchy. “Lynch. Hi.” He gave a small, shy smile, hoping it turned out okay.

Ronan cleared his throat, and Adam was pleased when he noticed that Ronan’s voice was just as scratchy. “Hi.” Adam thought Ronan was probably trying to smile back, but it came out more like a grimace. 

Adam turned to Gansey. “Hi.”

Gansey looked a bit bewildered. “Hi.”

Ronan turned to Blue. “Hi.” 

Blue looked even more bewildered. “Hi?”

Adam shoved his hands in his pockets, his throat too dry. “Um, I have to go to work soon, so…”

Gansey’s face cleared. “Yes, right. Sorry, Adam I didn’t realize you had work today when I called. Well, then, the three of us can go to Cabeswater, and I was wondering if Adam could maybe ask Cabeswater to… show us a new cave? The way it showed us the cave of ravens. ”

Adam frowned. “What? Why?” 

“Well, I talked to Malory, and…” Gansey explained his theory, and though it didn’t sound very promising to Adam, he supposed it was worth a try. Things had been at a standstill lately. Gansey finished with, “So, can you do it?”

Adam nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yeah.”

Gansey smiled. “Excellent.” 

“I, uh, I should leave for work.” He turned to Ronan. “Bye.”

“B-Bye.” Ronan didn’t look Adam in the eye, looking at the floor instead while chewing on his leather bands.

Adam turned to Gansey. “Bye.”

The odd look was back on Gansey’s face. “Bye.”

Adam turned to Blue. “Bye.”

Blue looked like she was trying not to laugh. “Bye.”

Before he could embarrass himself any further, he turned on his heels and walked out, his heart racing and his ears bright red. As he walked to his shitty car, he considered asking Cabeswater to strangle him with vines.

 

*

 

“What in fresh hell was that?” Gansey asked pleasantly, after Adam shut the door behind him. 

Blue let out a helpless laugh. “That was Adam and Ronan: The Early Years.”

Gansey gave Blue a knowing look. “Adam told you, then?”

“Ronan told you, then?” Blue shot back.

Ronan glared at both of them. “I’m standing right here, you know.”

“Oh, we know,” Blue assured him. “Honestly, what _was_ that? I thought you guys _liked_ each other.” She was still grinning smugly, and Ronan wanted nothing more than to wipe it off her face.

“Sargent—“

“Ronan,” Gansey interrupted, probably guessing that Ronan was going to say something offensive, “Don’t.”

Blue continued, amusement dripping from every word. “Seriously. Was that you two trying to flirt or something? Because I think you need to say more than two words for that. I don’t think I’ve ever been this embarrassed.”

“Yeah, well, not as embarrassing as you and Dick constantly making eyes at each other and thinking you’re actually being discreet,” Ronan snarled. 

Gansey’s face turned pink, but Blue just stared at him, unimpressed.

“Ronan—“ Gansey started, but Ronan didn’t wait to hear it. He turned around and slammed his bedroom door behind him. He lay down on his bed, his mind on Adam’s shy smile, his freckled skin, his elegant cheekbones, his beautiful hands…

Fuck. That was a fucking disaster. He hoped he would be able to stammer out more than two words when Adam came over after work.

He groaned, and got ready to explore Cabeswater with Gansey and Blue.

 

*

 

Adam had gotten off work at around 5 pm. He went home, showered, spent a ridiculous amount of time figuring out what to wear – _he was being ridiculous, it was just Ronan, Jesus, stop being an idiot Adam, you don’t need to dress up for Ronan, that’s ridiculous and pathetic, stop acting like a middle schooler with a crush_ \- and then wondering whether he still had grease stains on him and then wondering if his breath smelled bad. It was 6 pm when he arrived at Monmouth, hoping that the others were back. Or weren’t. Either would be fine with him.

The Pig and the BMW were both there, so he assumed Gansey and Ronan were home. The door was unlocked, so he knocked and walked in. Gansey was sitting on the floor next to his model of Henrietta, and he smiled when Adam walked in.

“Adam! Our idea worked. I’m so glad you’re here, I wanted to ask you…” Adam tuned out the rest of whatever Gansey was saying, because Ronan had just walked out of his room.

Ronan looked like he was about to say something to Gansey, but he froze when he saw Adam. Adam stared at him, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks, and Ronan stared back. Gansey kept babbling on until he realized Adam wasn’t listening to him. 

“Adam? Adam!”

Adam jumped, and looked away from Ronan. “I, uh – sorry, Gansey. What were you saying?”

“I was _saying –_ “

“Parrish,” Ronan interrupted. Adam looked over at him. “I, uh, wanted to show you that thing.”

Adam furrowed his brows, confused. “What thing?”

Ronan glared at him, like Adam was being ridiculous for not getting it. “You know. That _thing_ that we talked about. That, uh, book. It’s in my room.”

Realization hit Adam, and he flushed with embarrassment for being so dense. Although, Ronan clearly wasn’t that bright either if he was using a _book_ as the excuse to get Adam alone and away from Gansey. “Oh, right. That… that book. Let’s go look at it.”

Gansey frowned. “But I wanted to talk to Adam about—“ 

“You can talk later, Dick,” Ronan said dismissively. Adam gave Gansey an apologetic look and followed Ronan into his room, his heart pounding in his chest.

Adam closed the door behind him and walked towards the center of the room, but stopped considerably far away from Ronan. He felt awkward and flustered, unsure of what to do or how to act. Ronan seemed equally unsure, with his hands in his pockets and his gaze trained on the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Adam cleared his throat. “Hi.”

Ronan looked up. “Hi.”

Silence. 

Adam let his gaze wander around the room. He’d been in Ronan’s room a couple times before, but not so often that he had memorized it. The room seemed an extension of Ronan himself, messy but artfully so, with unique dream objects strewed around everywhere. When Adam’s eyes found Ronan again, the other boy was staring down again, fidgeting with his leather bracelets nervously. 

“So,” Adam said, unable to take the silence any longer, but then he faltered, realizing that he had nothing to follow that up with.

“So,” Ronan repeated.

Adam groaned internally. This shouldn’t be this awkward. It was just Ronan, for Christ’s sake. “Um. How was Cabeswater?”

“Oh. You know. The usual. It was… green. Lots of trees. Leaves. Grass. That sort of thing.” 

“Right.”

“Yeah.”

More silence. 

Ronan sucked in a breath. “Do you, uh, want a beer?”

Adam gave him an odd look. “You know I don’t drink.” 

Ronan winced. “Uh, yeah, sorry. A soda, then?” 

Adam shook his head. “I’m fine.”

Ronan nodded, shoving his hands deeper in his pockets, looking at his bed, his walls, anywhere but at Adam. More silence. Ronan cleared his throat. “Sure you don’t want a soda?”

“I’m sure.”

More silence. Adam scratched the back of his neck. Ronan ran a hand over his buzzed head. Adam wrung his hands together.

“Parrish, please let me get you a goddamn soda, I got to do something besides stand here like a fucking moron.” 

Adam huffed out a laugh. “Well, take comfort in the fact that you’re not doing it alone.”

Ronan’s mouth quirked. “Fuck. This is stupid.”

“It is,” Adam agreed, but once again he was at a loss of how to go on.

“So, uh, you came here to… talk?”

Blue’s words about air quotes came back to Adam and he blushed despite his best efforts. “Yeah. To talk.” 

“Right.”

“Right. So, to talk, we should probably… you know, get within, say, a foot of each other.” Ronan nodded. Adam swallowed, then moved closer. Ronan did the same, until they were almost toe-to-toe.

“Now what,” Ronan whispered, his voice trembling slightly and his eyes wide, locked on Adam.

“Now…” Adam took a deep breath and looked down, taking one of Ronan’s hands in his, lightly lacing their fingers together. He put his other hand on Ronan’s chest, right over his heart, and finally looked up at Ronan, who sucked in a sharp breath. Ronan hesitantly lifted the hand that wasn’t intertwined with Adam’s and lightly traced Adam’s cheekbone, sending shivers down Adam’s spine. Adam moved his hand from Ronan’s chest to where his neck and shoulder met, and leaned in so that their foreheads touched. Adam felt Ronan’s breath on his lips. Adam registered a tap from somewhere in the back of his mind, but he ignored it, too distracted at the moment. They leaned in closer, their lips almost touching, almost – 

The door flew open, and Adam and Ronan jumped apart. “Ronan, can you please hurry— Oh.” Gansey’s eyes were wide and his mouth fell open. His cheeks immediately turned scarlet, and Adam was sure his own cheeks were in a similar state.

“Jesus, Gansey, don’t you know how to knock?” Ronan snarled.

“I did knock! You two were probably too busy doing – whatever you were doing – to hear it.” 

Adam broke in before Ronan could make another scathing comment. “I – uh, sorry Gansey, um… I have to go anyways.”

Ronan looked at him in confusion. “What? I thought –“

“I have a night shift at the garage soon,” Adam explained. Truth was, he still had a little bit of time before he had to leave for that shift, which is why he had stopped by, but the situation had gotten uncomfortable and Adam kind of felt like bolting out of Monmouth as soon as he could. “I get off at eleven, but right now I got to go.” Adam walked towards the door and nodded at Gansey. “Bye, Gansey. Ronan, thank you for… uh... your, uh... See you later,” Adam babbled, and left quickly before either of them could say anything.

 

*

 

Ronan was going to strangle Gansey. First he was going to swear at him for a good half hour, at the very least, then he was going to strangle him. Before Ronan could start yelling, though, Gansey said, “What was going on in here?”

Ronan gritted his teeth. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Did you really think I wanted to show Adam a book, Dick?” 

Gansey flushed. “No, I knew you two were… talking, I just. I really needed to discuss our trip to Cabeswater with Adam and you were taking too long so –“

“Well, that’s just fantastic, Gansey. You have great fucking timing, by the way.” 

Gansey cleared his throat. “So.” 

“So what?”

“You and Adam.”

“What about me and Adam?”

“Things are… good?”

“I don’t know, Gansey, you fucking barged in here and interrupted us before I could find out how things are.”

“Oh. So you two weren’t…?” 

Ronan furrowed his eyebrows. “Weren’t what?”

“I, just – if you’re going to get… get _intimate_ , I’d prefer—“

Ronan turned beet red. “Jesus fuck, Gansey, what the _fuck_?”

Gansey’s face was a similar shade. “I just thought we should establish some ground rules! If you two are dating then it’s, I mean it’s only reasonable –“

“Oh, like how we established ground rules for you and Blue?”

“That’s different.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Blue and I – we can’t – it doesn’t matter. This is _you_ and _Adam_. And I just – none of us want to accidentally walk in on something –“

“Gansey, I swear to fucking god—“ 

“Just make sure you two are at least being _careful_ —“

“Oh my god. I’m getting the fuck out of here,” Ronan said, moving towards the door. 

“Oh – _Oh_ , that’s not what I meant, I meant careful with your hearts, Lynch, come back here!”

Ronan ignored him and slammed the door to Monmouth behind him.

As he drove through the streets of Henrietta, trying to work his nerves off, he thought about Gansey’s words. No, that definitely wasn’t going to help to calm him down. Thinking about getting _intimate_ with Adam Parrish was not going to help calm him down at all. 

He wondered if Adam had, before, though. If he was experienced. What it would be like. Ronan swallowed, vivid images flashing through his mind, some of which had shown up in his dreams before, on the nights he couldn’t entirely control them. 

Adam, kissing his neck. His bare chest. Touching his tattoo. Running his hands down his thighs—

 _Stop it, Lynch_. _Now is not the time_. 

His mind went to the way his and Adam’s lips had been only a breath apart, his hand on Adam’s cheek, Adam’s hands around his neck, and he ached inside, as he had been aching for a long time now, for the boy with the beautiful hands and the stubborn pride and the unshakeable strength that awed Ronan every time he thought of him. It was still impossible to believe, that Adam wanted him. 

Ronan didn’t quite know how to deal with it. He had spent so long _wanting_ that actually _having_ what he wanted most in the world seemed too daunting.

 

He thought of Adam, his chapped lips and chapped hands and elegant cheekbones. He thought of his boyish smile and his startled laugh and the way his eyes crinkled when he was happy. He thought of his freckles and the way his ears turned pink when he was embarrassed and the way his chin tilted up when he was angry, all defiant and bold and unflinching. He thought of Adam’s bravery and his loyalty, his intelligence and his kindness. He thought of how this beautiful boy was _magic_ in its purest form _,_ more magic than his dream things and more magic than Cabeswater and more magic than a centuries old Welsh King, how those types of magic paled in comparison to Adam Parrish, the Magician, who was the Magician long before Cabeswater and long before Gansey and long before any of this, that he was born with magic inside of him, even though those who had birthed him were anything but. 

 _When did this happen?_ Ronan asked himself. When did his feelings for this beautiful, brave boy take him over so completely, so that they flowed through every inch of him, every atom of him? When did Adam Parrish start to hold his heart and his entire being?

Jesus Christ, he was so fucked.

 

*

 

When Adam reached St. Agnes at 11 pm, Ronan Lynch was already sitting outside his door. 

“Hi,” Adam said. 

“Hi,” Ronan said.

Adam unlocked his door and walked into the apartment, Ronan following behind him. They stood in the center of the tiny room, looking at the floor.

“Uh, so. I should probably shower first.” Adam had changed out of his coveralls at work into jeans and a t-shirt, but he was still sweaty and probably smelled like cars.

Ronan made a face. “It can’t wait?”

“I smell like shit, Lynch.” 

Ronan shrugged. “I think you smell good.” Adam turned red and so did Ronan after he realized what he’d just said. “I – I mean, you smell fine. It’s fine.” 

“Well, I’m still sweaty and gross, so…” 

“Who gives a fuck,” Ronan said, moving closer. They were almost toe-to-toe now.

Adam looked the taller boy in the eye and raised his eyebrows. “That eager to start back where we left off, Lynch?”

Ronan’s flush went down to his neck. He opened his mouth, closed it again. Swallowed. “So what if I am, Parrish?” His voice came out almost a whisper.

Adam couldn’t help but grin. “Guess we better get to it then.” Adam took a step forward, and suddenly there was no space between them. His hands went up to Ronan’s chest, his shoulders, wrapping around his neck. Ronan’s hands hesitantly came to rest on his waist, feather light. 

Their foreheads touched, breaths mingling, and Adam felt suspended in time, the everlasting moment right before he kissed Ronan Lynch feeling unreal, as if he was in a dream. 

Then he crashed his lips against Ronan’s. 

Ronan probably wasn’t expecting the intensity that Adam pushed with, because his eyes went wide and he let out a noise of surprise against Adam’s lips. But Adam was full of hunger and fire, desperately moving his lips against Ronan’s more tentative ones, clutching him harder, pressing their bodies together so that there was no space between them. Neither of them had kissed anyone before, and it probably showed, but Adam didn’t care.

Adam pressed harder and harder, and just when he was getting bold enough to press his tongue against Ronan’s lips, Ronan broke away, gasping for breath like he’d just run a marathon.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ronan whispered, his voice dry and wrecked. Adam pulled back a little more to look at him properly, and was pleased to see his cheeks flushed and his eyes blown out, a look of awe and reverence in his eyes. “Fuck, Adam.”

“I wasn’t done yet, you know.” 

Ronan was looking at Adam like he was the eighth wonder of the world, like he had never seen him before. “Jesus Christ, Parrish, let me – let me fucking breathe first.”

Embarrassed, Adam pulled his hands and body away from Ronan, taking a step back. He was too eager. It was too much. “Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to—“ 

Ronan pulled Adam towards him again, fingers skimming his lower back, clutching at his worn out t-shirt. “Shut up, dumbass. Don’t apologize. That was… fuck. _Fuck_.” He didn’t seem capable of coming up with any other adjectives. He was still breathing hard.

Adam quirked his lips. “You okay? You sound like you’re having a little trouble.”

Ronan glared at him. “Not my fault you kiss like a maniac.”

Adam stared at him innocently. “What, you didn’t like it?”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Pot meet kettle. Can we get back to the kissing now?” 

“Who’s the eager one now, Parrish?”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Still you.”

Ronan didn’t bother denying it. They went back to kissing, and when Adam let his tongue into Ronan’s parted mouth, the other boy let out a groan that lit Adam up from the inside. Adam backed Ronan up until they were right in front of the tiny, shitty mattress, and he thrilled in the way that Ronan let him push him back on the mattress, the other boy’s face a mix of awe and nervousness and lust, as Adam climbed on top of him. 

Just as Adam was bringing his lips back to Ronan’s, he pulled back a bit, staring at Ronan questioningly. “Is this okay?”

Ronan swallowed and nodded, his pupils blown to unprecedented proportions. 

“Okay,” Adam whispered, and instead of going back to Ronan’s mouth, Adam pressed his lips to Ronan’s jaw, and felt Ronan shiver. He trailed kisses lower, onto his neck, sucking a little bit. 

“ _Shit,”_ Ronan swore, his voice sounding like he was choking. Adam smiled against his skin, kissing him again, trailing lower, to his collarbone, biting lightly. Ronan let out another embarrassing sound, his fingers digging into the small of Adam’s back, clutching desperately.

Adam then moved his own hands down Ronan’s chest until he reached the hem of Ronan’s black tank, pausing there.

Ronan inhaled sharply. “You can— if you want—“

Before Adam could do anything, though, a _ping_ sound went off and Adam startled. Ronan groaned. “My fucking phone.”

Adam sighed and rolled off of Ronan. Ronan let out an annoyed sound. “What are you doing?”

“Checking your phone.” It was on the floor beside the mattress, and Adam looked at the screen. He sat up and frowned. There was a single text from Gansey, and Adam read it aloud to Ronan. _You didn’t have to walk out in the middle of our conversation. Remember what I told you. I’m assuming you’re staying at Adam’s. Tell him hi and maybe discuss what I said._  

Ronan sat up too, and when Adam turned his gaze towards the other boy, he was surprised to see that he was blushing furiously – and not just from what they had been doing before. Adam’s eyebrows went up to his hairline. “What did Gansey tell you?” 

Ronan avoided his eyes. “Nothing.” 

“Lynch.” 

“He was just being Gansey.”

“Ronan. What did he say?”

“You really don’t want to know.” 

“Tell me.”

Ronan took a deep breath, exhaled. He finally looked at Adam, his expression pained. “He, uh… well. He more or less tried to give me the sex talk.” 

Now it was Adam’s turn to flush. “He _what?_ ”

“I told you that you wouldn’t want to know! I mean, it wasn’t – it wasn’t like. He just said a bunch of shit about not getting _intimate_ around Monmouth and being careful and—“

“Oh my god,” Adam said, mortified.

Ronan groaned. “Relax, Parrish, I told him he had nothing to worry about.”

Adam swallowed. “Well, I mean, maybe not _yet_.” 

Ronan stared at him, his mouth opening and closing several times, speechless, turning an even brighter shade of red than before.

“What?” Adam asked defensively. “As if you haven’t thought about it.”

“Well – I – I mean –,” Ronan sputtered.

“According to Gwenllian, you’ve even dreamt about it,” Adam pointed out. Adam had had a few dreams of his own. 

Ronan looked like a deer in headlights. “I can’t always control what I dream, Parrish!” 

Adam put his hand on top of Ronan’s. “Hey, relax, it’s fine. I didn’t mean it as a bad thing.” In fact, Adam was ridiculously turned on by the idea of Ronan having sex dreams about him, but he wasn’t about to say that.

Ronan exhaled. “Well, I, uh. I’ve never, uh, you know… done anything, before, so.” 

“Neither have I,” Adam replied easily. Ronan looked shocked by that revelation and Adam looked at him incredulously. “Did you really think I had?” 

“Well, yeah,” Ronan said, sheepish. 

“I hadn’t even kissed anyone before this, Ronan.”

Ronan looked at him in suspicion. “You’re lying.”

“Why the hell would I lie about that? It really shouldn’t be that hard to believe.”

“But – you’re just so – you –“ 

Adam waited. “I’m so what?” 

Ronan cleared his throat awkwardly. “I’m just – where the hell did you learn to do all of _that_ then, Parrish?”

“I don’t know. I just went with my instincts?”

Ronan huffed, fidgeting with his leather bands. “Well they were some great fucking instincts.” 

Adam grinned. “ _Great_ , huh?”

Ronan’s ears turned an amusing shade of pink. “Shut the hell up.” 

“Your instincts aren’t bad either, by the way.”

Ronan smiled sharply. “No?”

“I’m definitely not complaining.”

“Well, whatever else happens between us, at least we know the kissing part works.” Ronan took Adam’s hand in his, brought it up to his lips, kissed his palm, once, twice. Adam’s breath hitched. Yes, the kissing part definitely worked.

“So, um,” Adam said, “Was that other thing Gwenllian said true, too?”

Ronan tensed and dropped his hand. “What thing?” 

“Um. She – she said that you… that you’re in love with me.” Adam’s voice was quiet. He was holding his breath while he waited for Ronan to answer. It was silent for a few agonizing moments.

Finally, Ronan said, “Yeah, Parrish. It was true.”

Adam sucked in a breath. He hadn’t, really, _truly_ believed it until now. “I- why?” His voice was thick.

“What do you mean _why_?”

“I mean, you’re _you_. You could have anyone you wanted. Why would you--” Adam broke off, not wanting to sound self deprecating, but he couldn’t help it.

He thought of Ronan Lynch, beautiful and godlike and powerful and _magic_. He thought of Ronan Lynch, tenderhearted and kind and loyal and _loving_. He thought of Ronan Lynch, holding baby mice to his cheek to hear their heartbeats, doing a secret handshake with his little brother, dreaming hand lotion for Adam’s chapped hands, dreaming EpiPens for Gansey, writing _REMEMBERED_ on the windshield of a Mustang, holding onto Blue tightly and fiercely so she wouldn’t fall. 

How could someone like Ronan Lynch want someone like Adam Parrish?

Ronan’s voice cut through his spiraling thoughts, fierce and unyielding. “I don’t _want_ anyone else, Parrish. I’ve only ever fucking wanted you. Because – because you’re fucking beautiful and stubborn and brave and smart as fuck and you’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met and you’re, god, you’re—“ 

Adam crashed his lips against Ronan’s, trying to convey all the things he wasn’t ready to say. Ronan responded enthusiastically, pulling Adam on top of him so they were laying down once more, Ronan underneath Adam. Adam decided to start where they left off, teasing at the hem of Ronan’s tank, running his fingers over the soft skin under his navel. Ronan made a needy sound against his lips and Adam lifted the tank higher. 

Ronan broke away, gasping for breath. “Wait, I can—“ Adam understood and sat up, Ronan following him so he could take his shirt off. Adam’s knees were on either side of Ronan’s thighs, straddling him, and he was trying very hard to keep himself under control. _Slow down, Adam_.

It was difficult, though, when Adam saw Ronan’s bare chest.

It wasn’t as if he’d never seen Ronan shirtless before, but it was never like this. It was never with _intent_ , never when they were so close, never when Ronan was flushed all the way down, never when Ronan was beneath him, pliant and open and there for him to touch and touch and touch wherever he pleased.

He laid his palms on Ronan’s bare shoulders, his thumb rubbing circles into the pale skin. Ronan was looking at him, eyes wide and anticipatory, breathing heavily. He moved his palm downwards, and Ronan shivered beneath his touch. Then, Adam reconsidered, sliding off Ronan.

Ronan furrowed his brows. “What happened?”

“I – turn over. I want to see your tattoo,” Adam said. 

Ronan inhaled, tensing. Adam panicked, thinking he’d upset him, somehow. “S-Sorry,” Adam stammered. “Forget it, I –“

“No, no, I just…” Ronan swallowed, his cheeks reddening. “I, uh, I had a dream like that.”

Amused, Adam raised his eyebrows. “Really?” 

Ronan glared at him in answer, though the effect was somewhat lessened by intense blush.

Adam smirked. “Well, let’s see it, Lynch.” 

Ronan took a deep breath and turned so that his back was to Adam, his feet on the floor to the side of the mattress. And now, Ronan’s back was spread out before Adam, the ink dark and beautiful and magic and _Ronan_. Everything in the tattoo was Ronan, from the ravens to the roads to the Barns to the lungs covered with vines, seeming as if they were expanding and contracting with every breath. Because Ronan was _alive_ , he was so alive, and every time Adam was with him he felt alive and awake and _real_ in a way he never had.

Adam started at the nape of Ronan’s neck, tracing the black ink with his finger. Ronan shuddered beneath his touch. When he got to the center of his back, Adam murmured, “I know what this is.”

Ronan tensed at the words. _Scio quid hoc est._

“You dreamt it, right?”

“Yeah.” Ronan’s voice was strained.

“You asked Cabeswater to – to tattoo you – your, your soul, or essence, or, whatever – on you, didn’t you?” Because that’s what it was, it was _Ronan_ in every line, every inch of ink, every twist and turn. It was terrifying and wondrous and alive and _real_.

“Something like that.”

When Adam’s fingers reached the waistband of Ronan’s boxers, he traced them up again, his insides thrilling. Then he pressed his lips to Ronan’s shoulder, gently, and Ronan inhaled sharply and hung his head. Adam kissed him again and again, going lower on his back, his tongue tasting the inked skin. Ronan was breathing hard, his fists clenched in the sheets of the mattress. Adam reveled in the effect he had on Ronan, wanted to see him react even more, wanted to see him lose control. He stopped himself before he could do something reckless, though, and shifted back on the bed, motioning for Ronan to do the same.

Ronan sat there for a few more moments, though, getting himself together, and then came to sit by Adam again. “Tired?”

“Yeah,” Adam said, sleepiness overtaking him. He sighed. “I need to shower, though.” 

Ronan made a dismissive noise. “Shower in the morning.” 

Adam scrunched up his nose. He had showered this morning, but he still felt dirty after hours of work. 

Ronan rolled his eyes. “Go the fuck to sleep, Parrish.”

“Fine, fine,” Adam muttered. He probably couldn’t really afford another shower anyways. 

He got up and took out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He hesitated, then threw a pair of sweatpants at Ronan, too. After both boys changed – studiously turned away from each other while they did so – Adam lied down on his mattress, but Ronan was still standing awkwardly beside it.

Adam sighed. “Hurry up and get in here, Lynch.”

Ronan huffed and muttered something unintelligible, but he got into bed next to Adam. The boys lied under the covers, facing each other, and Ronan slowly traced Adam’s cheekbone, his eyes intense and saying more than a thousand words could. 

“Hi,” Ronan said softly.

“Hi,” Adam replied just as softly.

Ronan leaned forward and kissed Adam’s forehead, his eyelids, his cheekbones, his nose, and finally his lips, gentle and soft and Adam felt like he was falling, melting, fading into the air.

Adam let out a happy sigh when they pulled apart. “Shit.”

“What?” 

“Just – _you_.” Adam didn’t know how to explain the tangle of thoughts inside him, the warmth seeping through every inch of his skin, the feeling of _safety_ and _home_ that was thrumming through his veins. He couldn’t stop smiling.

Ronan smiled back at him, something soft and adoring in his eyes. “God, Parrish, never fucking stop smiling like that.” 

Adam smiled even wider, and spoke before he could think about what he was saying, “Never stop kissing me, then.” Then he turned bright red, and prepared to get made fun of, but Ronan just looked startled and _raw_. 

His voice rough, Ronan whispered, “I don’t plan to ever stop, Parrish.”

Adam wanted to say _good, you better not_ , he wanted to say _I never want this to end_ , he wanted to say _I love_ you, but he couldn’t, not yet. So he just moved closer, burying his head into Ronan’s chest as Ronan’s arms wrapped around his waist, holding him close. Ronan pressed small kisses into his hair, and Adam snuggled closer, closer, impossibly closer, until there wasn’t any space between them, until they were merged into one creature, just the magician and the dreamer, just Adam and Ronan, just _them them them_.

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh I considered adding an epilogue where Gansey goes out to look for Pynch and Blue asks if Gansey wants to sniff Adam's sweater so he can track him easier, but, it was already ridiculously long. Feedback and comments would be appreciated! Find me on tumblr @kevinjosten and twitter @adamganseys.


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